Jan 6, 2013

2013 really?!?! wow.

so this is what has been going on in my world of foster care.
feb 6th is the next court date. and it is looking like that will be the go home date. i dont honestly know how i will handle it when that day gets here. but i can say that right now, im ok.

friday started off as a horrible day emotionally for me. i had to take lil lady to her weekend visit and i was just not happy about that. normally i handle it just fine but i think with it getting so close to being feb i just broke. well i had arrived a few minutes early and so did birth momma. so as she was getting lil lady out of the car i told her today has been a very hard day for me, she asked why, i told her because it was all coming to an end and i just wasnt handling it well...this is what she said to me " this is not the end. you are stuck with us both forever, without your words of encouragement, without your support, i couldnt have gotten through this, knowing how much you love my daughter has made this easier for me." then we hugged and cried together.

it was an eye opening moment for me. a reminder of why im doing this.God called me and matt to this ministry to help families, not just the children. do i want to adopt and have my own forever family?!? OF COURSE. but the feeling i get thinking about this mother getting to be with her children is indescribable.  the feeling i get knowing i was a part of her getting her life back on track is amazing. the feeling i get thinking about all the memories ive shared with my beautiful princess is awesome! who knew one little girl could change my life so much!

am i going to be sad and cry...i can pretty much tell you YES. but is it going to stop me from continuing on this path of foster care. NO. little girl will forever be in my heart and she will forever be in my life. i do not know what God has in store for me in the future or even tomorrow, but i do know that i am looking forward to it.

I am going to enjoy these last few weeks loving on my sweet baby. and i look forward to the next sweet angel that will be coming into my home. God is my peace, my strength, my hope, my everything! to Him be the glory! Praise HIM!