Dec 4, 2012

Its been a fun week.

matt has been off since sunday and doesnt go back to work till thursday!

monday we had some family photos taken. and then went craft store hopping.

also got to eat 5guys.YUM.

Today we went to the mcwane center. little girl had so much fun.

i love this age so much where she can go and do and play. but still small enough to be my cuddle bug! 

she goes to spend the night with her birth mother friday =/ thankfully its only for one night. im not looking forward to her Christmas visit tho. its the 23rd-26th. that just is too long.

im doing really good, holding on to my faith in God. i know that He is working on me. giving me peace and comfort. i wish i could see what the future had in store. i wish i was better at just living day to day and not thinking about all this. thats the hardest thing for me. THINKING. why do we have to think about everything? i really do wish there was an off button to our brains.

on another note. 

tomorrow is gonna be a great day. a lazy day. a day to just sit and play with my sweet angel. and be thankful for all i do have because i do have so much. im healthy. im loved. i have a roof over my head. and food to eat. and so much more. God is good all the time.

now time to go sew.

=)

Nov 27, 2012

this year has gone by so quickly.
i feel like i havent had enough time.
is there ever going to be enough time?
even right now at this moment i feel rushed.
i wish that clocks were never invented.
that time didnt matter.
i wish that i really could just live in my own little bubble,
sometimes.

i got the call today about the next over night visit schedule.
she wont be with me for christmas.
they are wanting to move the court date to the first of the new year.
i trust God more than anything.
i trust in the supernatural.
i know that He can do more, than i could ever begin to imagine.
i just need to have patience and really let go.
if i hold on to this fear then im not having faith.
faith is the answer.

im thankful for the life i have been given.
and i will never take it for granted.
i have been given so much.
been blessed beyond measure.
i am a child of the mighty king of kings.

Nov 17, 2012

Night time seems to always be the hardest for me, always has been. 

I dont know if it has anything to do with being a woman, or just being me.

But night time is always when those little thoughts start to creep in, 

esp when you are laying there trying to fall asleep...bleh!

What if this happens, what can i do, why is this happening, blah blah blah

Your mind can do crazy things to you if you let it.

Im so thankful i have learned more about taking my thoughts captive!

the bible really does have an answer for everything...go figure right?!? ha

[only one more day till she is back safe in my arms! thank goodness!!

i tried to sleep in late this morning because i didnt have to be up to do anything.

but the quiet house just wouldnt let me sleep. the more i laid there to more i thought

the more i thought the sicker i felt, so i got up, solved that problem.]

 so my day today is going to be filled with good things. 

im going to get all my laundry done.

im going to catch up on some television.

 do some crafting.

maybe even organize my house...

maybe, lets not get to carried away =)

but i am going to find the good in everything, 

im not going to let this break me

not going to let this depress me 

not going to let this defeat me.

NOPE 

i am bigger and stronger than any situation.

 i have God on my side.

and He loves me and wants the best for me 

I am a child of the Most High! Praise God!!! =)

Have a beautifully blessed day.

Nov 16,2012

my name is kaytie graves, i'm not a writer, just someone who needs a place to share her feelings. i am a foster mother. my husband and i became foster parents nov 3, 2011. we got our first child nov 8, 2011 and still have her to this day. what a beautiful child she is, what a change she has brought to our lives. what an experience i wouldn't trade for the world! i love her so much as if she was my own birth child. she was only a small sweet beautiful 4 month old when we first brought her home. so all she knows is us. we are mommy and daddy. i think her being so small when we got her really makes this whole process a lot harder. because she doesnt understand why she has to go on visits each week. she doesnt understand why mommy is leaving her with a stranger. 

today is really the hardest day so far. today is the first time she has had an overnight visit. she will be gone tonight, tomorrow and i will pick her up sunday after church. ive never wanted a weekend to go by so fast before in my whole life! honestly im proud of myself right now. i havent cried since i dropped her off this morning, i assume i got all my tears out the days before. i trust that God has His hand on her and that His protection is all around her. i just wish i could be there, i wish she would be safe in her own bed tonight. but this is the road of foster care. the goal is "reunification" but to me, after 15 months of a child being in the system i think that reunification is crap! i know i signed up for this knowing that the goal was to reunify the family, but you fall in love, you become the mommy, you change every diaper, you wipe away every tear you give your whole heart to this child and they just come in and say well its time to go back?!?! 

its been a hard road, but like i said before, i wouldnt trade it for the world. each child we will bring in over our life as foster parents will be so special, each family we help in the process will be worth it. and ive learn in this year that nothing is over till its over, so just because she is away tonight doesnt mean she will be gone for good. i trust my Father in heaven knows what is best for her and in the end all i really want is what is best for her!